For the first time in my life, I'm making a conscience
effort to become fit and healthy. I'm not sure what the difference between the
two is, but being that it was a Boxing Day sale, I had to line up at 6am to
take advantage of these "Ultra Low Prices". Hmm, another New Years
resolution... stop believing everything I see on TV. So the family decided that
we should buy what is sure to be the greatest contribution to home fitness
since Billy Blank's Tae Bo or the Bowflex and their guy on TV who keeps saying
that he gave all his fat clothes to his fat friends. Just a quick note to the
Bowflex people, you should have a disclaimer on your commercials that say side
effects may include jerk like tendencies. What is this revolutionary purchase?
Not just the Wii Fit. No, no, no. That would give me a 2008 body and why would
I want to live in the past? The new and improved Wii Fit Plus (no, improved
does not always mean that it now comes with Kung Fu Fighting Grip... yes that
would be so cool). So we barely get the Wii Fit Plus home before tearing into
it to so that we can start our journey to well being. After a half hour of set
up including the choice to input a password so that others can not see your
true weight, we were ready for our first lesson. On a side note, do we really
need to password our weight? It's measured in kilograms. You might as well ask
me how many stones I weigh. Unless someone is so interested in knowing, that
they run to find a Google conversion program, you can be sure that your secret
is safe. Driver's license? Right, because I weigh the exact same as when I was
16. Okay enough about that. So we get through the setup, put on our gear and
prepare for an animated ass kicking. Packed with hope and excitement, we start
our first "Work-Out".. Happy New Year IMAGES 2020
After about15 minutes on the Wii Fit Plus, a half hour
trying out EA Fitness and 23 minutes on My Fitness Coach (yes, it's timed), I
came to a conclusion. There is no fun way of working out. Anyone who says
different is lying. If working out was fun, then there would be no unhealthy
people. "I have more energy if I wake up at 6am and work out in the
morning." No it doesn't. You've just been awake longer than most. These
are the same people who tell you how healthy something is when you ask them if
it tastes good. "Oh it's loaded with calcium, vitamin D, E and BS."
Quit telling me there are healthy alternatives that taste just as good. There
is no such thing as Soy Milk. And it's disgusting. And Turkey Bacon? Come on!
Show me the part of the turkey that the bacon comes from. I don't eat Pork and
even I'm insulted by that.
We need to start being honest with ourselves. We don't like
the work out and we don't like eating healthy. We do however like the end
result so that's why we have become infatuated with infomercials that show
before and after pictures. "I could look like that? And only after four
months? All I have to do is buy these DVD's? Where's my phone? It's on the
table? Oh, that's too far, I'll buy it later."
Here's what gets me through my workout... keeping my mind
off the fact that I'm working out. I will watch TV without commercials, listen
to audio books, contemplate abstract algebra or take up a new language.
Anything to get me through the hour. But I do get through it, internally
kicking and screaming. I decide that I wish not to live every one of those
moments like it was my last because Deepak Chopra said I should, rather I wish
to get it over with as fast as possible. And maybe at the end of it all, I'll
be able to create my very own fitness infomercial. But then again, it all
sounds like a lot of effort.
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